Location: White Bay, Peter Island
Once upon a time, in faraway lands, there were 12 scallawags and three landlubbers. Alicia the Ambitious, Lucas the Ludicrous, Ryan the Ridiculous, Simon the Stupendous, Shay the Swashbuckler, Trey the Treacherous, Rooks the Ruckus, Andrew the Amazing, Scott the Scandalous, Mireille the Miraculous, Niko the Nefarious, and Rhiannon, the reallllyyyy good pirate. Those are our finest blunderbusses these seas have seen. Matt, Bianca, and Griffith, the landlubbers, guide us to be the greatest pirate selves that we can be.
The day begins; the feasting awaits us at the table. We cram down the milk and cereal (a true pirate’s breakfast) as we’re still blinking our eyes awake. Afterward, we were invited to a town hall meeting where the mayor (Mike) laid down the laws of the land and landed did we where the laws laid. So, after the thorough expository speech, we lawless dogs plundered the town and quickly split. Setting off towards the gaping mouth of the ocean mother, while the landlubbers steered, we scallawags stared right down the gullet of the gaping beast and confronted her attempts to shiver our timbers (we got splashed a lot in our faces sitting at the front of the boat). Throughout the day, Lucas begs his shipmates to play poker with him. His gambling has become an addiction, and his addiction has become crippling. Niko, our bard, accompanies our journey with a serenade from his lute. Then we had lunch, sandwiches made of the souls of lost sailors (tomatoes and lettuce and cubes of cheese and whatnot). Afterward, our landlubbers trained our treasure-seeking abilities. Scott and Alicia were the finest of the extraction team. We dove down to the deep blue underneaths, testing our strengths and weakness and finding that we only had strengths. Alicia, though being the clumsiest sailor in Neptune’s salty pool, has yet to cause our ship a woman overboard. After proving our skills, we celebrated with a cleanse and a feast upon the tentacles of The Kraken (sloppy joes). Shay’s foot was scorched in the process of slaying the sea monster (spilled hot water on it). We commemorate his sacrifice. Alicia also slayed the beast but didn’t burn her foot. We commemorate her as well, anyway. Trey’s and Ryan’s legs had been kissed by the sun for a tad too long, along with Lucas’s back (I’m the one who poorly applied the sunscreen). After our dinner, the crew all worked together to scrub the deck, exemplifying excellent teamwork. Then suddenly were invaded by neighboring enemy pirates for another meeting under the treaty to review information (scuba pre-quiz). Then finally, they left, and there was peace beneath the stars.
And now a message from our narrating scallawag himself
Hi, Mom and Dad and everyone who might be reading this. I don’t have anything to say except that I love you! Don’t worry and don’t miss me. Well, fine, you can miss me; it makes me feel good and special. Alright bye.
– Simon