Location: Cane Garden Bay, Tortola
The only thing burning hotter than the sun’s rays in the morning was our thirst for egg war bloodshed. As the staff’s music boomed in our speakers like great drums of war, we indulged ourselves on a breakfast only fit for champions: oatmeal. Only after we each watered down our bowls into a brown, grainy soup did we truly feel fueled for the coming conflict. With our hunger satiated, we discussed the goals and events for the day before we let the eggs soar throughout the sky. Today would consist of two dives and a meal before the three great catamarans of dive side would meet for combat. Shrewd Edward suggested rafting with one of the boats to engage in diplomacy and possibly gain a much-needed ally, and the rest of the crew agreed to the plan. Sailing over to Shark’s Point, we settled on the vessel Good Times as our chosen accomplice for the Eggmageddon awaiting us. Both boats dove into Sharks Point to see its many dolphins once connected. We finished our dive early, and being the produce pirates that we are, we could not resist stealthily pilfering their pantry of fruits before attempting to negotiate with them.
After having our fun, Josh, with his silver tongue, helped smooth out relations with our’ comrades’ over lunch. We had almost cemented our bond as brothers in arms when Sally, overcome with her lust for exotic fruit, openly stole Good Times’ prized pineapple right as they were departing. This shattered any and all chance at evening the odds in battle. This meant little, as after being inspired by leather-lunged Lainey’s many speeches and eating the stolen pinnacle expertly prepared by culinary Chloe, we were ready for the second dive and subsequent yolky slaughter. The next dive was nothing special – a small search and recover dive for this and that at Brewers Bay- but afterward, Daisy and Angie began laying the already rotten eggs out in the sun for extra potency—enough delay. Now is the time for brave hearts and brave deeds! We mounted the devoured fruits’ fronds onto a mighty banner which KK proudly displayed for all to see in our charge towards the enemy. It was marvelous! We swiftly flanked Good Times and Aloha, bombarding them with our white death. Our sharpshooter Ozzie picked off crew members one by one, sending them all to Eggehenna with each perfectly accurate shot. Once the other boats finished returning fire by missing over half of their shots to the watery depths, Great Jaden led the counterattack. It obliterated their vessels with our secret weapon: eggs that were so rotten their yolks turned black as night. With this literal war crime splattered all over the deck, both boats retreated to either the closest church or nearest hospital (neither would save them from that wretched stench). Victorious, we licked our wounds and feasted a champion’s feast, proudly recounting the amount of pain and suffering we caused others as the only rescue boat in ActionQuest. Now we sleep, a much-needed rest for the great hike tomorrow in Cane Garden, dreaming silently as the stars dance across the sky.